Let’s face it. Grocery shopping with children is tough enough. The kids may be tired, hungry, and bored while we drag them down aisle after aisle. Now add in the temptation of highly attractive but unhealthy processed food, and it can be easy to break down and give in. Over the years I have developed some ways of saying “no” to these requests, while I keep my goal of raising healthy, educated eaters in mind. Saying “no” does not have to sting. It can be done with warmth, love and compassion. Saying “no” may also create a “teachable” moment, in which kids can come away having learned a lesson about healthy eating.
First, put yourself in the position of a child. Children are bombarded by advertising and lured by smart, attractive packaging. Groceries stores also are set up to tempt them into asking for unhealthy food. Children like what they see, and do not know any better. They do not know that highly-processed, colorful, fun-shaped foods with their artificial sweeteners, preservatives and dyes, can cause them a myriad of health issues later (or not so much later) in life. It’s our job to say no, and to protect them from the dangerous consequences of these artificial foods.
Here are some artful ways of saying “no”, while keeping your kids health in mind:
- Say “no” but offer an alternative. For instance you might say, “Those cookies look nice, but I think I have a recipe for something almost like that, and it will be a lot healthier. Maybe we can make them together.”
- Offer an explanation, and create a “teachable moment”. For instance you might say, “I don’t buy those kind of fruit snacks because they have dye in them that gives them bright colors. Some people can get really sick from those dyes. Can I show you on the label?” The child may then see that the “no” comes with a good reason, and that you are looking out for them.
- Try to time your shopping after a healthy meal. Hungry kids (and parents) are much more likely to give into the pressures and temptations of unhealthy snack foods and treats while roaming the aisles.
- Lay ground rules early, so you do not have to say no so much. For instance, my kids know that I do not buy candy in the check out aisles. This is a rule I established early so that I didn’t have battle every time we checked out at the grocery store. At first it took a lot of repetition of, “Sorry, Mommy doesn’t buy candy near the cash register.” However, after several requests, they got the message. Now they just don’t ask.
- Offer a small treat for cooperating at the grocery store. If buying a small trinket every once in a while means I can get a cart full of healthy, whole foods, then I consider this an acceptable concession (and a small victory).
- Make a list. Start off the shopping trip by laying down rules that you are buying what’s on the list and not much else. Making a list saves time (and money, too!)
- Teach your kids how to spot unhealthy food. This works great for kids who can read and can be shown how to navigate a food label. For example, I set down a rule that I would not like to buy anything with high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) because of its adverse health effects. After explaining this to my 8 year-old son, he now reads labels for himself and knows that if it’s on the label it’s not going in the shopping cart. This trick has kept probably HUNDREDS of processed foods out of my cart, without me having to ever say the word “no.” He recently even scolded my husband for buying the “wrong” kind of applesauce, and showed him the HFCS on the label!
Learning how to say “no” to all the unhealthy junk food in the grocery store eventually does pay off big. A few weeks ago, I was at the farmer’s market with my family, and my husband found a package of homemade blueberry cookies at one of the tents selling baked goods. Excited to show this sweet treat to the kids, my husband was dumbfounded when they said, “Yeah, that’s nice, dad but you HAVE to come down here and buy us these apricots. They are AMAZING!!” A proud moment, for mom.
Thank you, Dr. Yum! LOVE all that you do and share!
I have a particularly independent 4-year old who can’t read yet, but we compared ingredients on a package of noodles (four food ingredients) and broth with a package of Ramen noodles she was fussing to get (I don’t recall how I let those slip in our regular purchases!). I showed her how big the space for the list of ingredients was on the Ramen noodles, compared it, visually, with the space needed to list ingredients for my noodle of choice, and told her in all that space, only three of the 15+ words were food items! That the rest were chemicals and preservatives and additives. I didn’t hear another word, except requests to make my soup taste yummy!
Great advice and reminders Doctor Yum. We are not perfect in our shopping and going hungry is the worst but education really does help.
I have always bought healthier cereals and have told my kids that the ones with the ‘prizes’ are usually there to get the kids to beg their parents to buy them and if they need a prize to convince them to buy something it usually isn’t healthy. Now they know that Mommy isn’t buying the ones with the prizes and they don’t ask.
I also try not to make treats a reward for something. I’d rather a dollar store thing or an activity be their reward. Although on occasion an ice cream cone for a soccer goal has slipped out of my mouth.
Keep up the good work!
You know you read a lot of things posted on websites and think they paid someone to say that or they wrote it themselves to back up their product or idea, but I know first hand that all of this information is true and works. I had Doctor Yum’s children/my grandchildren for a week this summer and the 4 year old informed me several times that he could not have anything with red dye and they both were adamant about HFCS! Their healthy eating habits were started at a early age and they adhere to it even when parents are not around. I am one proud “Gramma”!!!
Great advice on how to say NO. I am sure many parents could use one or many ‘tricks’ from this blog.
Loved this blogpost. I also agree that it’s important to put yourself in your child’s place. Remember that saying “like a kid in the candy store?” This is probably what your child feels like at the grocery store, especially if he is hungry!
I recently followed (not on purpose!) a child and his mom through the grocery store. He kept crying “agua”–obviously he was trying to tell his mom that he was thirsty. I silently applauded him for not yelling “coke!” or “gatorade!”. His mom ignored his requests. I caught up to them about 10 minutes later. The mom finally broke down and gave him–not what he asked for–but a sports drink. Disappointing. The point is, we need to listen to our kid’s needs! Parents are in charge of offering healthy foods; kids are in charge of saying yes or no. (Ellyn Satter RD)
Thanks, Bridget, I couldn’t agree more! I really try to stress to the parents of my patients that kids by nature will try more nutritious whole foods if we provide them in a positive and relaxed way. Before saying, “My child would NEVER eat that vegetable,” try offering it to the child with a smile! Sometimes a parent can be the biggest roadblock to a child learning to love nutritious food. Please feel free to share this post with those you feel may need it.